Tough Run

A few days out from the gym and my running is off. My pace is over 9 minute miles, I am not yet at 5K but more importantly, it just seems hard.

Work is a worry yet again. I know this happens all the Ted for me but I have yet to get over the feeling of feeling like a loser when this happens.

The bills get paid by dipping into savings and retirement is a fantasy. I will work until I die.

How depressing!

Back at it

I'm struggling at work.

I'm working had and close to closing things but stuff keeps blowing up at the end.

I had someone interview Friday and he did well. They email me an application he filled out online (but never acted on) and want to take the applicant and about 33000 from me.

My best client!

This is not a client at this point. I know the folks in HR but their commanders are squeezing them to do more with less and apparently stealing from recruiters may be part of the new mandate.

I want to eat something and I won't. Food won't take away the hurt.

And it tells me I need a new client.

Score A Point for the Good Guys

After lunch yesterday, I made it through the rest of the day well. I didn't eat more than my prescribed calories and that included a dark chocolate covered coconut ball. A little too sweet but a nice little treat.

We went to see "A Christmas Carol" last night after battling with our son to do homework. A nice little production but it pisses me off when he doesn't do what he's supposed to do easily. I gotta get used to it . . . he's almost 12 and that's what I have in store for a few years.

And this morning's 5K run at the gym was a new personal best (for this cycle of training) of 27.34 and 8:52 pace and 6 seconds off my previous best time. Tomorrow, I'll go a little easier and Sunday, I'll take off.

I also saved a deal yesterday . . . the guy's firm made it hard to have his visa transferred and it was slowing down my client and pissed them off that he only brought up the issue at the last minute. Cooler heads prevailed and he's till joining. I deserve the fee and on to the next one.

Today, my son's class is having a party at lunch to celebrate the completion of a study cycle on fungi so I'll go to his school for lunch at noon, admire the presentations, eat and head back for an afternoon of work.

I have an other offer top try closing but don't think the guy will accept . . . so it goes sometimes. I only spent a year working on this.

I Can't Believe How Tense I AM!

I feel so much stress.

I'm trying to reach someone who has a job offer who probably won't take it. He hasn't called back yet.

I have so many new jobs to work on, to post on my website, people to reach out to.

Breathe.

I Screwed Up

For the past month, I disappeared . . . not blogging and not losing weight. I've been pretty good but Thanksgiving and my birthday celebration and a hole lot of other excuses have left me yo-yo-ing within 3 pounds of my bottom weight.

My running has been good. I now do a long run of 3.3 miles and a typical run is a 5K (3.11 miles). Today, I did my 5K in 27 minutes 40 seconds, a personal best for me.

Yet the real thing is that I have been sloppy about recording what I eat. I start the day off well, continue on through lunch but rarely finish what I start.

Well maybe the real thing has been how anxious I have been at work about a number of deals that have gone south. I came so close to having a blowout period but nothing worked. That left me frustrated and eating.

It's hard for me to see $55000 evaporate so quickly.

I'm Sorry

O'm sorry.

I didn't blog yesterday. I have been busy working and living life and didn't make the time to write.

My running is getting stronger. Yesterday, I was on the treadmill at 5:30 as always at jogged 2.82 miles in 26 minutes.

Today, I did my first 5K (3.11 miles) in almost a year. Injuries were a big part of the struggle. Tight hamstrings, a fall where I hurt my hip and both shoulders slowed me down but I am back at 5K again.

My weight this morning was under 221. That's 13 pounds so far.

And that ends the nice report.

Right now, I'm feeling a bit anxious. I am waiting for several job offers for candidates I am representing that will help relieve some of the financial stress I am feeling. I have investments and some money in the bank but I hate touching things and just want to stay current with expenses, not incur debt and feel good about what I do professionally.

I'm close to these job offers and believe several will close successfully but I'm worried because some feel like they've stalled.

Breathe.

When that happens, I feel tight and start thinking about eating.

Next week is Thanksgiving. I ordered our turkey yesterday and it will be an overeating festival. Sunday and Monday, we're doing a family trip to Charlotte. Not long after is my birthday and then "the holidays" and our family vacation to Florida.

I know I will eat well over the next few weeks but don't want to go crazy. I've worked to take off this weight. I don't want to go nuts and give it all back.

Checking In

This morning at the gym, I ran for 3 miles in 28 minutes. My best distance and my best amount of time in quite a long time. My persistence with running after an injury is paying off as I start to get to my previous mileage levels again. Someone at the gym who is a long distance runner has noticed my length of time increase and commented to me about it; it felt good to tell running stories again.

I'm down almost 12 pounds from where I started by having flexibility with what I eat and using the LiveStrong app. I'm not always perfect but the results are terrific. I am at my lost weight in more than a year at 222.8 and it is coming off me easily.

Now that my office in New York has power again, my stress levels are up again. I have a few people that are close to being hired and I always worry about stuff like that. I'm also waiting on a check being deposited; last week when I would normally have gotten it, the office was closed because power was out because of the storm. Hopefully, it is deposited today.

Although I am doing sales, I am worried; I heard some scuttlebutt that the office isn't doing well. It wouldn;t be the first business in America to close in the past few years. It would just take a bunch of effort to start up a business again . . .I hope I don't have to do that. If it closes, I will have to sue to get paid and who the hell wants to do that!

And then there is the election!

I'll go into that later.

Worries and Action

The storm is affecting us, too, even though we are no where near the Northeast.

Work was slow today. Part me. Part that the weather is such a big deal.
As I key this in, I Am getting mad because my son ignores what my wife and I say.