I Can't Stand It Sometimes

There are morning where nothing seems to work.

I just blew up at my kid. Normally, he doesn't do what we ask him to do the first five times we do tell him to do something. I HATE IT.

Today, he's out in my overcoat and his new tall hat (I don't know what to call it; he looks like Scrooge . . . that kind of hat).

"Hang up my coat and come have breakfast. We need to leave in 20 minutes."

"In a minute," and he goes outside.

Knock on the door.

"It's open."

Again, a knock, but louder.

"Come in, it's open."

Ignored until I open for him.

Have your breakfast and you have to brush your teeth and get ready. We have to leave soon."

"In a minute."

I can't stand it.

He walked around for a while and went outside. We have 10 minutes until we have to leave.

Again a knock on the door.

I yell angrily, "OPEN THE DOOR," as he walks in.

Now he's angry.

"Don't ever yell at me."

"Can't you understand that I get frustrated asking you to do something five or six times before you do it? Can't you understand?"

And then my wife reminds me that I need to manage my emotions better and that a kid just shot people in Connecticut . . .yadda yadda yadda.

I can't hear it. I am angry and frustrated with my son who never, I repeat never does anything we want him to do the first time. And all the effort I put in in so many directions is eating me up. There are times I can't manage how I feel. I have spent weeks with him never getting out of bed and going to school easily. It is always rolling over for another 20 or 40 minutes so we race like maniacs to get him there.

Try to get him to do homework is a battle . . . .every night.

I can't stand it.

Score A Point for the Good Guys

After lunch yesterday, I made it through the rest of the day well. I didn't eat more than my prescribed calories and that included a dark chocolate covered coconut ball. A little too sweet but a nice little treat.

We went to see "A Christmas Carol" last night after battling with our son to do homework. A nice little production but it pisses me off when he doesn't do what he's supposed to do easily. I gotta get used to it . . . he's almost 12 and that's what I have in store for a few years.

And this morning's 5K run at the gym was a new personal best (for this cycle of training) of 27.34 and 8:52 pace and 6 seconds off my previous best time. Tomorrow, I'll go a little easier and Sunday, I'll take off.

I also saved a deal yesterday . . . the guy's firm made it hard to have his visa transferred and it was slowing down my client and pissed them off that he only brought up the issue at the last minute. Cooler heads prevailed and he's till joining. I deserve the fee and on to the next one.

Today, my son's class is having a party at lunch to celebrate the completion of a study cycle on fungi so I'll go to his school for lunch at noon, admire the presentations, eat and head back for an afternoon of work.

I have an other offer top try closing but don't think the guy will accept . . . so it goes sometimes. I only spent a year working on this.

Smart

I took a break at lunch and sat watching sports instead of eating and working.

Smart

I Can't Believe How Tense I AM!

I feel so much stress.

I'm trying to reach someone who has a job offer who probably won't take it. He hasn't called back yet.

I have so many new jobs to work on, to post on my website, people to reach out to.

Breathe.

I Screwed Up

For the past month, I disappeared . . . not blogging and not losing weight. I've been pretty good but Thanksgiving and my birthday celebration and a hole lot of other excuses have left me yo-yo-ing within 3 pounds of my bottom weight.

My running has been good. I now do a long run of 3.3 miles and a typical run is a 5K (3.11 miles). Today, I did my 5K in 27 minutes 40 seconds, a personal best for me.

Yet the real thing is that I have been sloppy about recording what I eat. I start the day off well, continue on through lunch but rarely finish what I start.

Well maybe the real thing has been how anxious I have been at work about a number of deals that have gone south. I came so close to having a blowout period but nothing worked. That left me frustrated and eating.

It's hard for me to see $55000 evaporate so quickly.