It Sneaks Up

I felt good this morning having had a good run at the gym and returned to weigh my lowest so far since starting to lose weight with Livestrong.

A little later, my wife returned upset because she lost a filling and needed a crown and was upset to have to spend the money. We don't have dental insurance and it will be a $3000 bill. She found they offer a plan that will let us pay it off in 6 months interest free. I like that because I don't want to pay interest . . .and they won't negotiate their fee.

And then I went upstairs to my friend the refrigerator and took out some left over yellow squash and ate the equivalent of two slices.

It snuck up on me and now I'm back at my desk working and not in the refrigerator.

A Good Start. A Bad Start.

I woke this morning with my left ankle feeling a  little tender. I dressed for the gym and rotated it 10 times in each direction and did the same with my other ankle. They are both tender in the mornings when I wake but I still try getting to the gym. I figure at least I will walk for a half hour instead of run.

But when I got there, despite being hobbled a bit, as soon as I got on the treadmill and started running, it loosened up. I start at 6 miles per hour. At the 3:30 mark I sprint for 30 seconds at .8 (8 tenths) faster and then I reduce the speed by .7 (7 tenths). I repeat this every 4 minutes. It teaches my body to run faster and helps me loosen up. The last minute is a 1 minute sprint at 8 tenths of a mile faster than my last speed.

I did 25 minutes today and then walked for five; I stretched afterward and then did a few of the machines.

That was the good.

I weighed myself and since starting 3 less than 3 weeks ago, I down almost 10 pounds (9.8 to be exact)

The bad happened not too long after we got back from the gym when my wife's bridge fell out while using a Waterpik. It is something she has feared for so long and now it happened. She is at the dentist hoping they can reattach it until she sees a specialist Monday (Just got a call from her and it has been re-attached).

I care about her so much and it was so sad when she walked out saying that it had come out. She handled it well and so did our son, getting dressed, having breakfast, brushing his teeth all without extended effort.

A Tough Day

My wife is going to need major dental work--something she has feared for as long as we've known one another.

We talked and we cried and we hugged and talked some more. I apologized to my don and we are getting re-acquainted with one another.

I didn't eat crazy but I didn't eat perfectly--100 calories over goal.

I don't want to give myself a pass and I will be perfect tomorrow.

I am hoping we have power in the office Monday so I can get back to work.

I'M MAD!!

My wife is having dental problems and needs to have a bridge worked on that seems to her to be loose. My son won't hear that today is not the day to look at riding his bike 8 miles to school and back. That's it's too much for her to deal with.

"Mom is saying that she is having a dental problem and doesn't want to deal with this now. You're being an idiot."

He puts his hands over his ears; she walks out in a huff."

I'm the bad guy . . .again.

I'm frustrated that everything with him is a negotiation and that he won't do anything we ask just because we ask him OR tell him to do it.

I want to just eat myself into oblivion today because I am mad and can tune out by eating.

I don't have access to my office because the storm has cut off power o my office in New York, I'm going to probably have to spend a few thousand dollars for dental work for her, my work is straight commission and had  few hires close to closing when the storm hit . . . now, I don't know if they will ever happen.

I just want things to go smoothly but they aren't and I want to cry.

I try so hard and am so frustrated . . . and that is often when I comfort myself with eating. But I weighted in at 225.2 this morning, down 8.8 pounds from when I started and I don't want to blow the effort I have put into losing weight because I am angry and hurt.